Hey guys! Today I want to talk about one of the questions that I get asked the most often, yet somehow have never actually answered and that is: how to date as a lady who also loves the ladies wether it’s how do I meet other queer women? or I’m into someone, how do I know they’re into me? or how do I let someone know I want to be more than just friends? and the list goes on and on and on I get stuff like this every single day. in this day and age where we have literally created an entire other world that lives in the palm of our hands, it only makes sense to utilize this new world and work it into our dating life as I’m sure many of you know, I have a lot of first hand experience with meeting queer people through the internet, wether they’re my best friends, or people I’ve dated I’ve met some of my favorite humans because of the internet, although I’m a huge advocate for using the internet for dating, I’ve actually never used a dating app, I think because I was in a relationship when dating apps kind of showed up I never really got the chance, but thanks to OkCupid for sponsoring this post, today I’m giving it a little trial. little disclaimer, yes, I am in a relationship I have made all of my settings on the dating app for taken, and just looking for friends, but I thought it would be a really fun experience for us to kind of go through some of the questions, so you guys can get to know me a little bit more and make you think about how you would answer these questions. I really love OkCupid as a dating app because it’s not so superficial we are such a quick pace society and we’re so efficient that we make decisions at the drop of a hat. It’s you see someone yes, no, swipe whatever and it’s done.
But OkCupid has this great tag line that’s: “substance over selfie” and I love that so much. Of course appearance matters to a degree but it’s such a small, tiny degree, you don’t know if you’re going to be compatible with someone, or like them until you get to know them and I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to leave that up to chance just to go meet someone that I find attractive specially if you’re just looking for a friendship as well. so, on the app whenever you sign up you actually answer a ton of questions and you can skip any, and you can rate how important that question is to you but it’s a good way to actually know what someone’s thinking about important issues, weather it be their morals, their political views, their personality and what they like to do, so I’m going to go through some of these questions that I really like, and maybe it’ll help you guys get to know me a little bit better and the also you can think about how you would want to answer these questions as well and see if we’re compatible so when you answer the question, you answer what you would say, and then also what you would want your “perfect partner” to say as well, and then how important it is, and also have the option to explain your answer, which for a few of this, this is great I love this first question it’s: is jealousy healthy in a relationship? I said no, and I said that I would prefer my partner would say no as well and it’s somewhat important but I want to explain this one, I think this one is an important one to go into a little more detail of I feel like jealousy to a degree is good and healthy, of course I don’t want my partner to just be like: “oh they’re flirting with you? oh you’re flirting with them? whatever don’t care” cause that just shows me that you’re not really worried if you lose me, but I don’t want someone so jealous that they’re not trusting me, because trust is the most important thing in any relationship whether it be romantic or a friendship, you need to be able to trust each other. this next one is have you ever dated a man? this is so intriguing to me to know if this matters or not to people, yes I have dated a man when I was like 13 I think. and to me if a girl I dated has dated a man I don’t really care I don’t have any preference of what their preferences are as long as they’re into me.
I don’t care if they like anything else as long as they are monogamously with me, we’re good to go could you date someone who is really messy? hmmmmmm… hmm… I… ugh I want to say yes, like I want to say that I would be able to and it would be fine, but I don’t think I could, I don’t, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker if they were perfect in every other way, but they were messy I think I would make an exception, I don’t know would I? I don’t know, I don’t know if I want to answer that do you smoke? oh this one is important to me I would never date someone who smokes cigarettes I hate the smell, I hate the taste, I hate the inconvenience, that they have to like, go leave every time after they eat, or have sex, or whatever it’s just annoying and it’s bad for you I consider myself a relatively healthy person so for someone to actively be smoking a cancer stick, can’t do it, I would 100% have this in here as I’m not a smoker and they can’t be a smoker and that’s a deal breaker, you can be messy I take my other one back now, you can be the messiest person in the world as long as you don’t smoke are you looking for a partner to have children with? uuuh, this is so interesting because it’s such a deep question to ask on a first date but it’s something that you want to know. I want kids 100% so I don’t want to waste my time on somebody who doesn’t want kids and I don’t want to feel like oh well maybe they’ll change their mind and let it go that can cause a ton of issues down the road. So I would say yes I want kids, yes I want them to have kids and yeah, deal breaker.
I’m really clinging up on this whole messy thing I don’t care anymore these other things are so much more important. About how long do you want your next relationship to last? this is another one where it could be really uncomfortable to ask someone but you’d want to know, I feel like it’s a little like, inside note into their brain without actually having to come out and be like”I care about these things” and the options for this one are: one night a few months to a year, several years or the rest of my life how willing are you to meet someone from OkCupid in person. This is such a good question, I have so many friends who are on dating apps and they’re always like “I don’t get it, we message, we talk they seem into me, but we never meet up they just don’t want to do that” some people really do just enjoy going on dating apps and just seeing that they have options and thats fine but, if you’re someone who really wants to meet up with someone and all you’re getting are these people who have conversations with you via messages that’s not really fun, so to know that first hand, off the bat, good good good thing to know I love these questions, I want to like have a party and just sit around and answer these questions to know people this is so fun. choose the better romantic activity: kissing in Paris or kissing in a tent in the woods oooh, kissing in a tent in the woods, I think that’s more private so it’s like extra romantic what is the most exciting thing about getting to know someone? discovering your shared interests or discovering their body ooh rongie, I’m going to be a little PG on this one and say discovering shared interests, but thats only because when you find out you have a common interest with someone, specially if it’s like an odd, rare, random thing it always makes me think of “Stepbrothers” the movie whenever they’re like listing off their favorite things to each other and saying it at the exact same time, I feel like, if you have a common interest you’re like bonded immediately. Do you like scary movies? oh yes 100%. are you a cat person or a dog person? these questions I feel like are made for me. I am very much a dog person and I would prefer the person that I’m with to be a dog person or at least both but more so dogs just dogs come on.
Hey guys! Today I want to talk about one of the questions that I get asked the most often, yet somehow have never actually answered and that is: how to date as a lady who also loves the ladies wether it’s how do I meet other queer women? or I’m into someone, how do I know they’re into me? or how do I let someone know I want to be more than just friends? and the list goes on and on and on I get stuff like this every single day. in this day and age where we have literally created an entire other world that lives in the palm of our hands, it only makes sense to utilize this new world and work it into our dating life as I’m sure many of you know, I have a lot of first hand experience with meeting queer people through the internet, wether they’re my best friends, or people I’ve dated I’ve met some of my favorite humans because of the internet, although I’m a huge advocate for using the internet for dating, I’ve actually never used a dating app, I think because I was in a relationship when dating apps kind of showed up I never really got the chance, but thanks to OkCupid for sponsoring this post, today I’m giving it a little trial. little disclaimer, yes, I am in a relationship I have made all of my settings on the dating app for taken, and just looking for friends, but I thought it would be a really fun experience for us to kind of go through some of the questions, so you guys can get to know me a little bit more and make you think about how you would answer these questions. I really love OkCupid as a dating app because it’s not so superficial we are such a quick pace society and we’re so efficient that we make decisions at the drop of a hat. It’s you see someone yes, no, swipe whatever and it’s done.
But OkCupid has this great tag line that’s: “substance over selfie” and I love that so much. Of course appearance matters to a degree but it’s such a small, tiny degree, you don’t know if you’re going to be compatible with someone, or like them until you get to know them and I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to leave that up to chance just to go meet someone that I find attractive specially if you’re just looking for a friendship as well. so, on the app whenever you sign up you actually answer a ton of questions and you can skip any, and you can rate how important that question is to you but it’s a good way to actually know what someone’s thinking about important issues, weather it be their morals, their political views, their personality and what they like to do, so I’m going to go through some of these questions that I really like, and maybe it’ll help you guys get to know me a little bit better and the also you can think about how you would want to answer these questions as well and see if we’re compatible so when you answer the question, you answer what you would say, and then also what you would want your “perfect partner” to say as well, and then how important it is, and also have the option to explain your answer, which for a few of this, this is great I love this first question it’s: is jealousy healthy in a relationship? I said no, and I said that I would prefer my partner would say no as well and it’s somewhat important but I want to explain this one, I think this one is an important one to go into a little more detail of I feel like jealousy to a degree is good and healthy, of course I don’t want my partner to just be like: “oh they’re flirting with you? oh you’re flirting with them? whatever don’t care” cause that just shows me that you’re not really worried if you lose me, but I don’t want someone so jealous that they’re not trusting me, because trust is the most important thing in any relationship whether it be romantic or a friendship, you need to be able to trust each other. this next one is have you ever dated a man? this is so intriguing to me to know if this matters or not to people, yes I have dated a man when I was like 13 I think. and to me if a girl I dated has dated a man I don’t really care I don’t have any preference of what their preferences are as long as they’re into me.
I don’t care if they like anything else as long as they are monogamously with me, we’re good to go could you date someone who is really messy? hmmmmmm… hmm… I… ugh I want to say yes, like I want to say that I would be able to and it would be fine, but I don’t think I could, I don’t, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker if they were perfect in every other way, but they were messy I think I would make an exception, I don’t know would I? I don’t know, I don’t know if I want to answer that do you smoke? oh this one is important to me I would never date someone who smokes cigarettes I hate the smell, I hate the taste, I hate the inconvenience, that they have to like, go leave every time after they eat, or have sex, or whatever it’s just annoying and it’s bad for you I consider myself a relatively healthy person so for someone to actively be smoking a cancer stick, can’t do it, I would 100% have this in here as I’m not a smoker and they can’t be a smoker and that’s a deal breaker, you can be messy I take my other one back now, you can be the messiest person in the world as long as you don’t smoke are you looking for a partner to have children with? uuuh, this is so interesting because it’s such a deep question to ask on a first date but it’s something that you want to know. I want kids 100% so I don’t want to waste my time on somebody who doesn’t want kids and I don’t want to feel like oh well maybe they’ll change their mind and let it go that can cause a ton of issues down the road. So I would say yes I want kids, yes I want them to have kids and yeah, deal breaker.
I’m really clinging up on this whole messy thing I don’t care anymore these other things are so much more important. About how long do you want your next relationship to last? this is another one where it could be really uncomfortable to ask someone but you’d want to know, I feel like it’s a little like, inside note into their brain without actually having to come out and be like”I care about these things” and the options for this one are: one night a few months to a year, several years or the rest of my life how willing are you to meet someone from OkCupid in person. This is such a good question, I have so many friends who are on dating apps and they’re always like “I don’t get it, we message, we talk they seem into me, but we never meet up they just don’t want to do that” some people really do just enjoy going on dating apps and just seeing that they have options and thats fine but, if you’re someone who really wants to meet up with someone and all you’re getting are these people who have conversations with you via messages that’s not really fun, so to know that first hand, off the bat, good good good thing to know I love these questions, I want to like have a party and just sit around and answer these questions to know people this is so fun. choose the better romantic activity: kissing in Paris or kissing in a tent in the woods oooh, kissing in a tent in the woods, I think that’s more private so it’s like extra romantic what is the most exciting thing about getting to know someone? discovering your shared interests or discovering their body ooh rongie, I’m going to be a little PG on this one and say discovering shared interests, but thats only because when you find out you have a common interest with someone, specially if it’s like an odd, rare, random thing it always makes me think of “Stepbrothers” the movie whenever they’re like listing off their favorite things to each other and saying it at the exact same time, I feel like, if you have a common interest you’re like bonded immediately. Do you like scary movies? oh yes 100%. are you a cat person or a dog person? these questions I feel like are made for me. I am very much a dog person and I would prefer the person that I’m with to be a dog person or at least both but more so dogs just dogs come on.
Do spelling mistakes annoy you? this app is literally setting you up so you don’t have to worry about fights a year into the relationship. Have you ever traveled around another country alone? some of these questions I feel like will set you up for the best first date ever cause if you read them you could be like “hey I see that you said you traveled a country alone, which country was it?” and then they could talk for an hour and no awkwardness they really thought these through didn’t they? Do you often find yourself worrying about things that you have no control over? *gasp* yes! now I feel like I’m in therapy are you either vegetarian or vegan? I love this one cause I know that so many people would make it on their profile that it’s a deal breaker if somebody is vegan or vegetarian these questions are so important, they’re really ones that you might not ask for a very long time and it just naturally comes up and then your partner, the person you’re dating could answer and you’d be like “wow” that’s how you feel about that? if you don’t do anything at all for an entire day how does that make you feel? this is the most like thorough personality test ever it makes me feel bad, it makes me feel really bad I don’t mind what someone else answers to that but it does, I don’t like that feeling.
How often are you open with your feelings? oooh rarely uhm, until I date someone then that person hears every every little thought, feeling and emotion I have sorry what is your preferred cuddling position? big spoons? small spoons? all spoons? uhm all spoons, I like to switch it up. Could you date someone who already has children from a previous relationship? these are reading my brain, I had this conversation with someone recently as well, I could not right now because I’m not ready for kids so I don’t think it would be fair to enter someone’s life who has that responsibility, when I’m not ready to be a parent but I could in the future, once I’m at a point where I’m ready for kids I don’t think that I would mind dating someone who already has children just not now cause I’m not ready for kids. Are you kinky? skip it’s your first date do you: split the bill, pay the whole bill, have them pay the whole bill?
I would definitely try to pay the bill and then if they offered to pay I’d be like no, lets at least split it but I would probably offer first. but I think technically whoever asked somebody on the date should pay the bill do you believe your country would be more or less safe if every adult owned a gun? ooh this is a good question before dating someone, uhm, no I don’t think it would be more safe and I would really prefer someone to agree with me I don’t think it’s a deal breaker if they disagree but I would very actively try to change their mind overall the best dating advice I can give you guys is just be yourself. you don’t want to pretend to be someone because it’s going to come out eventually who you really are and that’s just going to set you up for failure long term be you, be confident and on your first date go somewhere where you’re both comfortable and it’s going to be fine, so if any of you are single you guys should go on OkCupid and look for each other and if any of you end up dating because of it let me know so I can get a little bit of credit for doing so I love you guys so much I hope you enjoyed today’s post and I will see you next time, bye guys.