How do you end things when a guy doesn’t meet your standards after one or two dates? Are there any tricks to interracial dating and if you’re out with a bunch of guys and being friendly to everyone, is that a good thing or will it mean that they think you’re easy? Welcome to Ask Mark. It’s week number 46.
I’m so excited to be here and tickets are now available. Go and get them. I’m coming to a city near you. Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, LA, New York, Miami.
Tickets are now available. Now, everyone says there’s very few tickets. There is actually very few. I don’t want a big room.
I’m not there to make money. I just want to have a great interaction with a small group of women. So there is literally four early bird tickets. We’re going to go out to dinner afterwards with the early birds.
We’re going to meet men in the flesh. It’s going to be amazing. And the standard tickets is very few as well. There’s 17 early bird standard tickets, so there’s literally not many.
I just want to keep the group nice and small so I can interact with you personally. It’s not going to be a big thing. So make sure you grab your ticket, join the Facebook group if you haven’t already.
Subscribe to the channel, hit the bell and let’s get into the questions cause I, ah, I love the questions you guys send in. You’re just, you’re amazing. First question is from Cassandra and this is, this is such a, such an important one. She says, Hey Mark, what do you do when a man doesn’t meet your standards after the first couple of dates? How do you end it?
Um, P S your posts have made me want to start dating again after a long hiatus. So thank you. Cassandra, this is a great question and this is a great question for you as well because we all want to make dating better, right? I worked through so many, with so many clients where dating is a shitty negative experience and men get this as well.
If dating was fun for everyone, we’d all just stick out and eventually meet someone. But there’s too many people having shitty experiences, and this situation is a classic one that can lead to some of that shittiness which is the ghosting phenomenon. Now, don’t get me wrong, sometimes there’s going to be neutral ghosts, right? Sometimes you both kind of realize you’re both not into it and you’re like, eh, thanks for the date and you kind of go your separate ways.
And in that situation it would actually be weird to text someone cause there’s like this unwritten understanding of what’s kind of happening. But in a lot of situations that not, that’s not the case. And Cassandra’s situation is one like that.
And I’ve got a few clients working through this as well, meeting lots of people getting out there, enjoying dating, enjoying being single in the variety of experiences that come with that. But it also means you’ve got to meet a lot of men who are into you and you’re not as into them. So how do you end things? Well this is, let’s keep it real simple.
This is how I recommend you do it if it’s been one or two dates. So you’ve actually, you met up with the person, the, he’s obviously keen, he’s still messaging you. After the date, you can take just a little break, um, maybe 24 hours and then call the guy.
Seriously, call him up. I know you hate me for saying it. I know you hate doing it. I hate doing it too.
Call the person up. Say, hey look, had lots of fun. Probably didn’t click the way we were hoping to.
But yeah, I’d still have, wanted to have lots of fun. You know, if you want to be friends, if you want to catch up on Facebook, that’s cool too. But you know, that’s totally up to you.
I understand if you don’t. It’s really that simple don’t ghost and don’t text. Texting is just, it’s such a way to get out of the conflict of it and to get out of talking to people.
Give the guy a call. Seriously, you’ll be, it’s hard, but you’ll be stronger for it. You’ll, you’ll be glad you did it and you’ll form better connections with men and he, he gets a more respectful experience from his end.
You would want a guy to call you if you know, if you were into it. He, he wasn’t feeling it after the first date or two. How nice would it be if a guy actually called you and was like, look, thank you. I did have fun, nice.
Give the bloke a call. Second question is from Vanessa and yes, I have turned on the lights now. I got way too excited about filming today and forgot to do that. And Vanessa says, recently joined the dating world and all this is so helpful, but can you post something to help us dark skin ladies with interracial dating?
Um, there are close to zero men in my race where I live now. What should I look out for when dating white men? Vanessa, the only bit of advice I can give you with this is forget skin color.
Get to know people for people. As soon as you start generalizing and putting groups of people in boxes, you instantly miss out on a beautiful individuality of people. So forget skin color, forget race, forget culture, forget economic background. Just get to know one man for who he is. You wouldn’t want to be generalized because you’re a black woman, so don’t generalize white men.
Make sure you get to know people for people and then you’re going to have an enriching and varied dating experience. Third question is from, I don’t actually know who this is from. I didn’t say the name. She says Hi Mark.
These posts are really helpful when you’re out in a social setting with a large group of guys. Uh, I’ve been kind of friendly with all the guys and then I zero in on my top two to three and get a little more flirty with them. I noticed that those few try to win over my attention. Would a guy think, Oh, she’s flirting with all the guys, obviously, she wouldn’t be loyal to me or is he thinking that’s part of the chase me aspect? In other words, should I keep my options open or just pick one and get their attention?
Okay, again, don’t have a name. This is all sounding quite contrived to me. Here’s how I keep it very simple. Be friendly with everyone. Seriously, be friendly with everyone.
Don’t just be friendly with the guys you like. Be friendly with everyone. Now that might mean that you have to get better at rejecting the ones you don’t because they might take that as a signal of interest and you might have to reject them.
Skills in rejection are very good. Being able to subtly or not so subtly turn guys away is an important skill. If you don’t have that skill, you wouldn’t want to meet men in the first place. So adopt that skill. Be friendly to everyone.
Okay? And then you’re the normal friendly person. You’re not the person who’s targeting you know that, that’s, that one person that they’re after.
You’re not the person there with an agenda. You’re just giving value to the room. When you decide who you’re interested in that night. Get talking, everyone. Get friendly, decide who you’re interested in and you can then be more interested in him.
Right? And you can be naturally challenging with him because he will see you being friendly with everyone else because that’s just you. You’re a friendly, normal person and that’s all the challenge that you need. You don’t need to worry about games or holding back or anything like that.
Men want to know, you know, that they’re winning, that they’re doing well. And over time, the guys who you’re being friendly with but not as friendly will kind of get the message and they’ll be like, well, she’s obviously into him and he will get the message you’re into him too, which is a good thing. If you’re all that friendly, high value woman in the room, the guy is still going to love that. There’s no way he will lose interest because of that.
But no, I, I definitely don’t think, um, guys are going to think, Oh, she’s easy. She’s going to cheat or not be loyal because of it. They might think, Oh, she’s just attention seeking from the hot guys. If you just bounce from two, for two to three men being nice to only those ones, they might go, okay, she really just wants attention.
Um, they’re not going to take it as a reflection on your loyalty, but this is why just be friendly to everyone. And then once you’ve gotten to know everyone, pick the guy that you want to be with and want to flirt with and focus more of your attention and kind of flirtatious energy on him. Great question.
How do you end things when a guy doesn’t meet your standards after one or two dates? Are there any tricks to interracial dating and if you’re out with a bunch of guys and being friendly to everyone, is that a good thing or will it mean that they think you’re easy? Welcome to Ask Mark. It’s week number 46.
I’m so excited to be here and tickets are now available. Go and get them. I’m coming to a city near you. Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, LA, New York, Miami.
Tickets are now available. Now, everyone says there’s very few tickets. There is actually very few. I don’t want a big room.
I’m not there to make money. I just want to have a great interaction with a small group of women. So there is literally four early bird tickets. We’re going to go out to dinner afterwards with the early birds.
We’re going to meet men in the flesh. It’s going to be amazing. And the standard tickets is very few as well. There’s 17 early bird standard tickets, so there’s literally not many.
I just want to keep the group nice and small so I can interact with you personally. It’s not going to be a big thing. So make sure you grab your ticket, join the Facebook group if you haven’t already.
Subscribe to the channel, hit the bell and let’s get into the questions cause I, ah, I love the questions you guys send in. You’re just, you’re amazing. First question is from Cassandra and this is, this is such a, such an important one. She says, Hey Mark, what do you do when a man doesn’t meet your standards after the first couple of dates? How do you end it?
Um, P S your posts have made me want to start dating again after a long hiatus. So thank you. Cassandra, this is a great question and this is a great question for you as well because we all want to make dating better, right? I worked through so many, with so many clients where dating is a shitty negative experience and men get this as well.
If dating was fun for everyone, we’d all just stick out and eventually meet someone. But there’s too many people having shitty experiences, and this situation is a classic one that can lead to some of that shittiness which is the ghosting phenomenon. Now, don’t get me wrong, sometimes there’s going to be neutral ghosts, right? Sometimes you both kind of realize you’re both not into it and you’re like, eh, thanks for the date and you kind of go your separate ways.
And in that situation it would actually be weird to text someone cause there’s like this unwritten understanding of what’s kind of happening. But in a lot of situations that not, that’s not the case. And Cassandra’s situation is one like that.
And I’ve got a few clients working through this as well, meeting lots of people getting out there, enjoying dating, enjoying being single in the variety of experiences that come with that. But it also means you’ve got to meet a lot of men who are into you and you’re not as into them. So how do you end things? Well this is, let’s keep it real simple.
This is how I recommend you do it if it’s been one or two dates. So you’ve actually, you met up with the person, the, he’s obviously keen, he’s still messaging you. After the date, you can take just a little break, um, maybe 24 hours and then call the guy.
Seriously, call him up. I know you hate me for saying it. I know you hate doing it. I hate doing it too.
Call the person up. Say, hey look, had lots of fun. Probably didn’t click the way we were hoping to.
But yeah, I’d still have, wanted to have lots of fun. You know, if you want to be friends, if you want to catch up on Facebook, that’s cool too. But you know, that’s totally up to you.
I understand if you don’t. It’s really that simple don’t ghost and don’t text. Texting is just, it’s such a way to get out of the conflict of it and to get out of talking to people.
Give the guy a call. Seriously, you’ll be, it’s hard, but you’ll be stronger for it. You’ll, you’ll be glad you did it and you’ll form better connections with men and he, he gets a more respectful experience from his end.
You would want a guy to call you if you know, if you were into it. He, he wasn’t feeling it after the first date or two. How nice would it be if a guy actually called you and was like, look, thank you. I did have fun, nice.
Give the bloke a call. Second question is from Vanessa and yes, I have turned on the lights now. I got way too excited about filming today and forgot to do that. And Vanessa says, recently joined the dating world and all this is so helpful, but can you post something to help us dark skin ladies with interracial dating?
Um, there are close to zero men in my race where I live now. What should I look out for when dating white men? Vanessa, the only bit of advice I can give you with this is forget skin color.
Get to know people for people. As soon as you start generalizing and putting groups of people in boxes, you instantly miss out on a beautiful individuality of people. So forget skin color, forget race, forget culture, forget economic background. Just get to know one man for who he is. You wouldn’t want to be generalized because you’re a black woman, so don’t generalize white men.
Make sure you get to know people for people and then you’re going to have an enriching and varied dating experience. Third question is from, I don’t actually know who this is from. I didn’t say the name. She says Hi Mark.
These posts are really helpful when you’re out in a social setting with a large group of guys. Uh, I’ve been kind of friendly with all the guys and then I zero in on my top two to three and get a little more flirty with them. I noticed that those few try to win over my attention. Would a guy think, Oh, she’s flirting with all the guys, obviously, she wouldn’t be loyal to me or is he thinking that’s part of the chase me aspect? In other words, should I keep my options open or just pick one and get their attention?
Okay, again, don’t have a name. This is all sounding quite contrived to me. Here’s how I keep it very simple. Be friendly with everyone. Seriously, be friendly with everyone.
Don’t just be friendly with the guys you like. Be friendly with everyone. Now that might mean that you have to get better at rejecting the ones you don’t because they might take that as a signal of interest and you might have to reject them.
Skills in rejection are very good. Being able to subtly or not so subtly turn guys away is an important skill. If you don’t have that skill, you wouldn’t want to meet men in the first place. So adopt that skill. Be friendly to everyone.
Okay? And then you’re the normal friendly person. You’re not the person who’s targeting you know that, that’s, that one person that they’re after.
You’re not the person there with an agenda. You’re just giving value to the room. When you decide who you’re interested in that night. Get talking, everyone. Get friendly, decide who you’re interested in and you can then be more interested in him.
Right? And you can be naturally challenging with him because he will see you being friendly with everyone else because that’s just you. You’re a friendly, normal person and that’s all the challenge that you need. You don’t need to worry about games or holding back or anything like that.
Men want to know, you know, that they’re winning, that they’re doing well. And over time, the guys who you’re being friendly with but not as friendly will kind of get the message and they’ll be like, well, she’s obviously into him and he will get the message you’re into him too, which is a good thing. If you’re all that friendly, high value woman in the room, the guy is still going to love that. There’s no way he will lose interest because of that.
But no, I, I definitely don’t think, um, guys are going to think, Oh, she’s easy. She’s going to cheat or not be loyal because of it. They might think, Oh, she’s just attention seeking from the hot guys. If you just bounce from two, for two to three men being nice to only those ones, they might go, okay, she really just wants attention.
Um, they’re not going to take it as a reflection on your loyalty, but this is why just be friendly to everyone. And then once you’ve gotten to know everyone, pick the guy that you want to be with and want to flirt with and focus more of your attention and kind of flirtatious energy on him. Great question.
Love it. Uh, and Max, Max, Max, Max says, can someone help me? I have a sexual relationship with a guy that is already in a relationship. He is married and I know she is a bad choice for him.
How can I make him see the truth? Please answer. Love you, Mark. Why?
Why? Well, that’s the post. Thank you for watching. Let me know your thoughts, comments, questions, et cetera. As you always do in the space below, make sure you hit the big red subscribe button with the little bell and join the Facebook group.
Give the post a thumbs up and get your ticket. I really want to see you, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, New York, Miami, Los Angeles coming for you. Get your ticket. There is literally not many early bird ones.
I want the groups to be super small and I’m only going to be there for that short period of time. So thank you again for watching and I’ll see you in Ask Mark next week.